POEM: 'Tinysmall IV: Xmas'

Was spending a December night
Relaxing and aloof
Swinging my little wooden legs
Whilst sitting on the roof.
Singing my song “I’m Tinysmall,
A little boy, but good.
I’m friendly and I’m happy
And I’m simply made of wood.”
I laughed as I sang my tune
Thinking it really great.
But my shimmering and wiggly dance
Had loosened up my slate.
I slid with speed into the air
And feared that I may die.
But a sleigh arrived and picked me up
We soared into the sky.
“Hello there, Master Tinysmall
I hope that you’re okay.”
A reindeer turned to look at me
Nodded and just said “hey!”.
Santa gave me sticky sweets
I wolfed them hungrily
He disappeared down chimneys
Had no need for a key.
We carried on for hours
Delivering the toys.
Dolls and trains and teddy bears
For all the girls and boys.
Suddenly I wondered
If there was anything for me
I had been a good Tinysmall
I always made the tea.
Before I could ask Santa
I closed my tiny eyes
I woke inside my bedroom
To the smell of warm mince pies.
Had I dreamt the whole shebang?
I imagined my friends mocking
That’s when I looked beside the bed
And saw the giant stocking!
A note said “Thank you Tinysmall”
Attached to a toy piglet.
An orange and a bouncy ball
And of course…a bag of Twiglets!

POEM: 'Wake Up Like A Fish'

Wake up like a fish
Hook in mouth and without eyelids.
Try to raise my arms
Looking down to see they’re missing.
Gasping for breath
Feeling my heart burst with horror.
I’d drop my head
But it’s fastened to a back board
Only allowing the slightest movement
Anything else provokes more pain, if that’s possible.
I hear someone laughing
Their face covered
Body quivering with joy.
I try to kick out
Where are my legs?
Where are my fucking legs?
It seems I’m just a terrored torso
Blood dripping like tears
Life draining slowly from me.
I’d pray
But I have no god
And they’ve cut out my tongue.

POEM: 'Epitaph'

Spin down in a circle
Shades of Dante,
Of pain and suffering.
Emotions pulled to the surface,
White lines become scarlet
No tears,
Only screams. (Silent)
Open your mouth to find your lips sewn together.
No way to explain
No giving or finding an answer.
A whip to a broken back
Salt in the wounds
Get up! Get up!
Pummelled again
Hit the ground hard
Looking through blade-cut eyes.
Handed the knife, blind,
You can’t see the other figure nodding.
Plunge it into your emaciated chest
Retrieve the broken heart
And throw it out.
Throw it out!

POEM: 'Evil H'

They photoshopped evil in your eyes
Disguising the real hate
Or making it seem watered down.

Across the table
She’s like any other girl.
Flirty, funny, intelligent
If you didn’t know what she’d done
You could lose your heart to this one.

Invitation to her flat.
Kiss her softly and stroke her bleach blonde hair.
“Put on some tunes”, she purrs.
I pick up the first cassette I find
I hear nothing but screams,
The cry of the child,
The roars of the ravaged,
The pleas of the expiring.
I leave before she returns with the tea.

Tomorrow
We will get together.
I’ll pull your coat tight to shut out the cold
Then pull the knife tight to shut out the life.
Leave you next to K.B.
A puzzle without a map
Forever in the cold chill of Saddleworth Moor.
They will feel you in the air.

No one photoshopped evil in your eyes
It was born and it died there.

POEM: 'Train Access Ramp'

I never knew how many stairs in Camden Tube till you got ill.
Then you’d cling to the banister and clamber to the street.
“Well, I could do with a drink”, you’d exclaim
With the biggest smile in the world.
Don’t know if you loved Camden
Or loved my love of Camden
Either way we had magic there.
You chatted to Menswe@r
Listening gripped to their touring tales
A tour you’d given us a lift to the week before.
Laughed with Graham Coxon
Turning the shy quiet poster into a sniggering heap.
Passed me jukebox money
Wanted to hear The Who
You loved The Who
They were ours.
Travelling to The Albert Hall
Hanging in the bar with the mods
Chatting happily with the faces.
Back to the hotel for JD and Bud
And a late one, always a late one.
Shopping, looking for The Residents.
The tiny old Forbidden Planet
Hours in the cinema section,
The Oxford Street circle.
A pub you liked in Soho
Popping into Music And Video Exchange
Walking through the lights and the shifty glamour
Laughing and “What is THAT?” at the window displays.
Out into Leicester Square,
Another record store?
Don’t mind if I do.
Out to the steak house
Examine our haul.
More conversations in the hotel bar.

Memories
Not sepia,
Glorious colour.
Happy birthday
We miss you.

POEM: 'Number'

Cave in my brother’s head for a taste of Black Bread.
Instantly bring it back up
Vomiting over myself
Dignity long gone.
I fall down
Feet move into my space.
Pinned to the floor
Some punch me like a flesh balloon.

POEM: 'The Modern Age'

Stranger, I walk the streets beguiled.
See caffeine freaks sucking the Starbucks teat
See the burger kids chucking down another Happy Meal and throwing away the toy.
Walk through malls
Watching empty people justify their stinking lives
With a label or two they don’t need.
Another suit to wear in front of the mirror.
Congratulations, nothing dressed as something.

Home time, watch the shuffle to the alcohol.
Like troops they walk
1-2, 1-2,
Pints and gin and “Did you see?”, blah blah.
Eating snacks and bitching hard.
Young secretary sticks her tongue down an old throat to climb the ladder
Wakes up next day looking for her underwear in a million dollar flat,
Feeling cheap.

POEM: 'Constants'

Cars cruise past
Dead souls behind the wheel
Corpses on street corners
Looking for business as they rot.
Decaying bodies fill the pubs
Another round going down
Maggots in the ashtrays.
Cinematic catafalques
Puss in the popcorn.
Butchers hang on their own hooks
Flesh freshly chewed as the meat decays.
Hospitals like circus tents
A legless body devouring Valium
A screaming child chewing a stranger.
Fire breaks out in the church
A holy barbecue smell throughout
For all the praying
The deaths are slow and painful
Their mouths turn in on themselves
Black smoke, black souls.
Man in the street
Stares at his watch through acidic eyes.
It’s stopped, of course.

POEM - 'Tinysmall In The Valley Of The Dolls'

[Thanks to CD for the original concept of Tinysmall and (however briefly) making my work a lot lighter. xx]

I’m the made of matchsticks boy
Returned to say hello
I’ve been travelling far and wide
It’s all been quite a show!
A cuckoo took me for its nest
Built of lots just like me
An eagle came and tossed him out
And took me to the sea.
We dropped into the water
And luck kept us afloat
Hugging little matchstick boys
Making matchstick boats.
We came upon a sandy beach
Where satisfied we lie
I rested my wet wooden frame
Until completely dry.
Then a young kid grabbed me
And chucked me really far
His dog sprinted and picked me up
Then we jumped in a car.
Left upon the kitchen floor
Crawled over by a mouse
Little boy’s sister took me
She was building a house!
Painted pink and wedged in tight
A mansion for the dolls
She tidied up this brittle boy
Repairing all the holes.
Turns out the house was not for her
A present for her mother
In her room we proudly sit
Safely in shade and cover.
After all my adventures
Perhaps this is the best
Love is the greatest gift to give
More wondrous than the rest.

POEM: 'Go/Return'

When you go
I grow hollow.
Mummified or jellified
My future in a cage I can’t unlock.
Each breath a challenge
Every heartbeat breaks
Colour to sepia
Today to yesterday
Nostalgia the only light.

When you return
The sun bursts heat
The air fills with heavenly scent
The world spins faster
A dizziness of euphoria.
In your arms I rest
Stopping the clocks for a moment of perfection.
Skin against skin
Love caressing love
It’s grace
It’s magic
It’s two souls made one.
It’s a pool of satisfaction
Dive in.

Bret Easton Ellis - 'Imperial Bedrooms'

Well this shouldn’t work. A sequel to Bret Easton Ellis’ debut novel? Your initial response is that he’s run out of ideas/steam and is falling back on something to get attention. Then you read it and realise he’s still a fucking genius and ‘Imperial Bedrooms’ is as much of a masterwork as ‘Less Than Zero’ was.

The genius of the novel is that the voices are all the same as you remember them. The images you carry in your mind of Blair, Rip, Julian and Clay come back to life speaking exactly as themselves, this isn’t a Xeroxing of the first book, in fact if it wasn’t for references to Pixar, iPhone and IMDB then you could imagine he sat down the day after finishing ‘Less Than Zero’ and created this. By page two you’re back in the muddy waters of love, desire, loss, confusion, depression, aloneness and friction. As Clay describes it “A mosaic of youth, a place you don’t really belong anymore.” Things have changed on the outside, Clay is a successful writer, Julian is clean, Rip is botoxed to high heaven and Blair is married. To none of them.

References to U2 and Hungry Like The Wolf might drag you back but soon Clay is listening to The Fray (The Fray!) as a girl he likes has them on her MySpace. We’re not in the eighties anymore, Toto.

What is it about? Like the original, it’s about people. It’s about change and staying the same. It’s about protecting yourself whilst simultaneously laying yourself open to hurt. There’s less drugs, less sex, more exercise and a couple of disturbing incidents which see Ellis juggling a mix of nausea and voyeurism not seen since American Psycho.

It’s beautiful. It’s shocking. It’s Bret Easton Ellis at the top of his game. Amazing.

“The ghosts swarming everywhere whispering ‘you need to be careful who you let into your life’”

POEM: 'Man's Best Friend'

There’s a hole in his heart where the love should go.
Empty, beating, a life longing to live.
Homogenised with drink
Blur life into a glass
Forget your faults
Forget the girl.
Head on the bar,
Salome laughs.
Last orders
Hit the road
Walking into the dark
The moon shows its face
It’s jeering Cheddar face.
Stars laughing at your fragility
Rain sneers at your stupidity.

Home alone again.
Hit the bottle one last time
Clock tick-tick-ticks on
The hands mocking you
The only thing not going forward.
The alarm is the bell of the final round
Technical knockout.

The dog brushes your head
Sniffing waiting for you to wake.
He’s still there three days later
When the flies are breeding.

POEM: 'World Of Paper Heartbreak'

I woke up dreaming of a paper sun
Origami shade for the world.
With my paper heart beating fast
I stride into the rays.
Walk half an hour in the wrong direction to stroll past your house by accident.
Dog barks and I scurry away
Sure I saw the curtains twitch…
Sit alone on a paper sidewalk
Drawing faces on the street
Two souls colliding
A car splashes and they disappear.
The sun’s going down
Walk back in the wrong direction, past your house again.
See a coupled shadow in the window
And puke on the driveway.
Brush my gasping mouth with my sleeve
A Mountain Dew rinse
And then the emptiness comes.
The paper moon arrives
I pick up the phone to call
But the shadow pulls my hands down and I go under.

Paper razor clears the air
Paper sleep, without a care.

POEM: 'Musselmaner'

Mute salvation scream.
Shrunk down to nothing
Tracing paper skin
Name as number inked on the arm.
I hear some pray as sleep taunts me
“Don’t you see your god has forsaken us???”
They rock and murmur more,
Mothers cuddling the corpses of offspring.

Morning comes, no cock crows, no bird sings
Awakened by sirens of death
Future workers vs future experiments
Sifted through like diseased cattle.
Ribs above the surface
Legs like brittle bamboo blades
Do hearts even still beat?

Fight a child for a sliver of bread
Break a cripple’s nose for a spoon of pissed-in soup.
Guards laugh
Bodies fall.
Again, god turns his back without a word.
If he’s walking the Lagerstrasse,
He’s walking away.

POEM: 'I'm In The Sky, I'm In The Stars'

I realise how quick life goes
How everything spins away so fast
And no one stops to smell the roses.
I realise you don’t believe me
I look like a wooden doll on a stage
Fake applause and confetti tears.
I realise how special you are
And I’m just another face in the scene
Another it-boy, another loser.
I realise as I hold the candle
That the wax is already burning down my arm
But I’m not dropping the plate
I’m not giving in to the hand
Pushing me forever under.
I’m looking out of the grave
Onto a clearer day for tomorrow.
Alone, choking in the sun
I guess I was wrong
What I want is not for me.
The flower I sent decayed before arrival
A sickening reminder of my shallow self.
Keep dreaming my beautiful
I’m in the sky, I’m in the stars.

POEM: 'A bug under a stone'

A bug under a stone
Waiting to be discovered.
An ugly duckling
Drowning in a pool of unease.
The other guy
Waiting to be most important.
The corpse
Fighting on the catafalque.
Plane going down
Look across to the couple saying goodbye
Drink a Heineken alone
As the plane hits the ground.
Rebirth?
A bug on the asphalt.
Dodging people to and fro
Trying to find the dirtpile.
Descending into a hole
Snapping the cable
Sailing downwards
You’re nothing Bugman,
Nobody hears your body hit the floor.
A bug under a stone
Waiting to be discovered.

POEM: 'Dream (Of a floating head and a laughing Jesus)'

Laying on the bed alone
My arms becoming weeds
Worms dance across the sheets
As minutes become hours.
Eyes wide open, blind,
Moths fly in my mouth
To sleep
To choke
To steal my breath
Like the cats in the alley.
A hand over my mouth
Avoiding malicious microbes in the air,
Beware the invisible malevolence.
Cough up blood
Cotton wool itch
Try to spit, nothing, choke again.
Reach for water
Hands become spiders
Crawling away
Falling lifeless.
Like the white rabbit
I’m late.
Important date cancelled
A kid becomes a corpse.

POEM: 'We've Got It'

I’m in love with a girl
It’s not an illusion or chasing my tail.
She’s real and she’s beautiful.
Makes me catch my breath and smile
We work together
Piece A and piece B makes a whole.
Alone I’m okay but missing something
Texting ‘Aloha!’ makes me smile.
It doesn’t have to end like Salinger
We can be together
From the docks to the beach
We work like buoys pointing the way.
She’s a model of perfection
Not a plastic inch
A real thing, a whole
The only thing I want.
I wake thinking of her
Drift slowly till I get a text
Then I dance like a munchkin.
She doesn’t think I’m silly
We’re the greatest couple.

POEM: 'The Devil's In The Details'

The untuned scream of a violin
A piano uncovered in a dead girl’s room.
Rusted metronome is still
A drum monotonous by the tomb.

No angels here – abandon hope
Gain fake calm from your holy book.
Better off with Dr Seuss
Your god stole the last breath she took.

Throw some dirt on the wooden box
No comfort out here, driving rain.
Can’t give her back her beating heart
Or take away the boyfriend’s pain.

Voice behind the catafalque
Say’s she’s being well looked after.
I hear a voice, beyond the grave?
(I realise it’s my bitter laughter).

POEM: '4 Joan'

I remember the beginning of summer
Thinking of my time away
Up to Swindon with my nan
I waited for the day.

We drove up in the family car
I kept asking “how far? how far?”
I was excited and saying “Yay!”
Until we pulled into 579’s driveway.

I got the hug I wanted
Me and Shu went inside excited
We sat down for a roast
The best, no need to boast!

I slept in the little room
No time for gloom
Smurfs up the stairs and down
I waited till we went to town.

Tuesday – green tokens on the bus
Just Joan Mc and me – Us.
Looking at all the things
So happy I could sing.

I took her to the toys
She loved it, looked with joy.
I talked about Star Wars
And she said “Excellent”, me “Cor!”.

We played Nintendo and she laughed
“Oh Kendall my dear, you are daft!”
I grabbed her arm and off we’d go
To the next cinema show.

Afterwards we went for food
She said “I loved it, just like you”
Hand in hand without a fuss
We went back laughing on the bus.

Dinner and then time, of course
To get out the Deluxe Scrabble board.
She’d beat me with a 50 word
Shrugging like nothing had occurred.

The morning I woke as happy as can be
Orange plastic cup, coffee.
I walked down the street
To get some milk or maybe meat.

Night time, my walkman, music to my ears
Nanny comes up “You alright dear?”
I always was, never moaned
Goodbye our precious, love you Joan.

Now you’re gone too
Another chum
Say hi to our brilliant dad
And your daughter, our mom.

I hope you all have fun
And look after everyone.
Whilst down here we all get older
We’ll feel you all there on our shoulder.

May everyone stand up proud
And say “We love you”, scream it loud.
Not everyone deserves the praise
But Joan does, the roof we raise.

We dance for you and shout “Hooray!”
No need for sadness, not today.
One of Earth’s gentlest souls
Is lifted to life’s greater goals.

I’ll walk out with my head held high
Not thinking that someone has died
But thinking of the girl who lived
And everything our Nan did give.

I still miss your cheese and pickle
And your welcome hug and tickle.
You’ll always be here for me
And for all these people you can see.

No sadness here, just memories,
For kids, grandkids, oh for plenty.
Many thanks and love is due.
Joan McDonald, we love you.
We love you.

POEM: 'Quick-Time Romance'

Alone, looking at the stars
Thinking of a girl
Playing her tunes
Ticking down the clock till you can be together.
Phone buzzes
It’s her
Your heart flips
She wonders if she’s good enough
You wonder if you’re good enough.
Two lost souls make one
Hands clasp together
Let’s go to the park…
Sun shines down on you both
Spinning in a private orbit
No sound
No vision
Just two hearts beating
Quick-time romance.

POEM: 'Glossolalia'

Tears running down my face
Like little cars fuelled by misery.
Asphyxiate anxiety
Water to blood in my hands.
Fucked virgin canvas
Too many characters
Too many characters
A sanguine Salinger
Tragedy made flesh
Peel it off and sell a million.

Laying lifeless, coagulated
Toss and turn for hours
Finally finding comfort in the shape of a perfect swastika
Naughty little Jew
Taking comfort over history.
Keeping an eye open for new knives in the back
Unfettered vendettas and vitriolic vampires
Sucking the life out of me
Sucking the me out of life.

‘Marquee Moon’
The music is cutting edge.
Cutting.
On edge.
I may see no evil but I feel it in the air
An atmosphere of dour despair.
In my mind’s eye
The hourglass is almost out of sand
I’m running out of breath
There’s no time to feel sorry anymore.
One more thought for the Pauper’s Grave –
Without love, life is meaningless motion.
Emergency stop.

POEM: 'Hey God, Your House Is On Fire'

Hey God, your house is on fire.
Girl laughing in the wreckage
Lights another match
Goes up like a rocket
The smell of burning
Skin melting, human Barbie.
She grabs the nearest man
Drifting away as she screams
His aftershave is his vanity, death,
He’s lit up not by your song
But by the crackle of scalding scalp.

30 minutes ago
They gave you thanks
Smiling smugly, the vicar passed the plate.
Kids in too small suits gave pounds
Last pocket money they would make.

The wall collapses
Escape impossible
Old woman prays
The irony of her final day.
Soon her mouth is closed,
Sealed together,
Eyes the same way
You don’t want to see the scene.

30 minutes ago
They gave you thanks
Smiling smugly, the vicar passed the plate.
Kids in too small suits, now dead,
Ignorant to their fate.

One more psalm for the dear departed,
No miracles.
Did they not pay enough?

30 minutes ago
They gave their lives
Screaming sourly, the vicar passes out.
Kids in too big suits, well bled,
A life of worship=nought.

Hey God, your house is on fire!
Hey God, your house is on fire!
Hey God, your house is on fire!
Care to assist?

POEM: 'He Sought A Bolt Of Lightning & Gained The Right To Hold A Candle'

The ticking of the clock
Backwards
To the start of a new age
That will never come.

I will be gone for a thousand years
But to you it will only be a blink
My entire legacy created
Before you can breathe out.

The world belongs to the young
By the time you’re a screaming newborn
You’re already facing death
Looking down the barrel of a gun.

Living without the unknown before us
There’s nowhere to go
Floating alone in a foreign sky
The colours change, the darkness darker.

Beating the atomic bomb
With a ‘chief to the mouth
And a steely defiance
Future generations’ cancer.

Looking out on oblivion
A peaceful eeriness
The planet is a mausoleum
And my hair’s falling out.

I can’t make history when there can be no history
No one to document my future
No clock to distinguish it from the past.
Who’s to say I’m living?
Who’s to say I’m dying?

I try to see love’s rainbow
But all I find are dead hearts beating
Automatons keeping robotic time
Relationships are rusted epics.

The garden devoured by weeds
The snake now the caretaker
Take all the apples you want
The juice is bitter
Acid of the dead.

Floating free over the earth
Vacuum stung by memory
Last breath expelled
As you blink again and return to your life
Wondering what to have for lunch
And whose turn it is to pick up the kids.

Sometimes dead is better
Though I never existed
At least not for a thousand years
Not yet dreamt.

LYRICS: 'A Statuesque Beloved'

She’s a rose in the shadows of weeds
A china doll in an empty playhouse
A Tinkerbell without a Pan
A flaming bulb calling me to the light.

Air-Con in an airless world
Colour in a sepia place
Music breaking silence’s scream
A perfect dreaming haunting place.

She’s an oasis in the desert of life
A blur in reality’s cold dark vision
I’m reaching out to touch her skin
Delicate and fragile porcelain.

Air-Con in an airless world
Colour in a sepia place
Music breaking silence’s scream
A perfect dreaming haunting place.

Take my hand and fly with me
Don’t look down, you’re safe, trust me.

Air-Con in an airless world
Colour in a sepia place
Music breaking silence’s scream
A perfect dreaming haunting place.

Can’t believe such beauty
A statuesque beloved.
A statuesque beloved.

LYRICS: 'Song For DJ'

We didn’t put a cigarette paper between one kiss ending and the next beginning.
All there was was us, but we were a singular term worth saving.
Like arriving in Oz, our relationship bursts technicolour
Before crashing down like stardust memories.

First cut is the deepest they say
It certainly won’t heal, I know that.
While she slips away to love a mortician
My love dies sickly on the vine
My love dies sickly on the vine.

So I write her another song
Imagine her radio picking up the static of my memories
Heartbreak turns to choruses
Malady to melody.
Malady to melody.

And with a flash of magic
She’s there in front of me
Perfection frozen in time
My heart beating like the fastest drums.
I try to speak
My mouth is sewn with the wire of her beauty.
My silence says it all
She’s everything to me.
You’re everything to me.
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
(Alone)

LYRICS: 'The Ballad Of William Miller'

I’m the boy the girls trust
Hanging out in the dressing room with the girl of my dreams
While she tells me about another guy she loves.
It’s not easy keeping up this façade,
I’d give my breath for just one kiss,
Just one look.
For her to think of me,
Not as ‘one of the gang’
But as ‘The One’.
The one she cant live without
The one she dreams of at night.
It’s never gonna happen
They never choose the nice guy.
I’m sick of being the nice guy
I’m sick of being the one left behind
With a kiss on the cheek that means nothing to her
But keeps me up all night.
I’m the shoulder she’ll cry on when he breaks her heart
And the first to know when she finds another.
And another.
And another.
And another.
AND ANOTHER.

LYRICS: 'Darken The Night'

Laid my head on the bed in the Chelsea
At 5am strolled the streets for a soda
Went back and sat on the sill
Mesmerised by the neon light.

New York City can be so calm
Quiet and breathless in the night.
Just a series of old bulbs flicking
Rock n roll ghosts darken the night.

Corner deli for the coffee blues
Locals love the accent, free eggs for all.
A taxi into the city’s heart
A party till it all goes dark.

New York City can be so calm
Quiet and breathless in the night.
Just a series of old bulbs flicking
Rock n roll ghosts darken the night.

“hey kid, you like rock n roll?”
Hidden artwork by The Ramones.
Tales of Burroughs, Dylan and Smith
Quite a team to be staying with…
Is this what Frey meant
When he said you could check out but never leave?
Once The Chelsea is in your heart
You’ll beat a little faster for all time.
For all time.

LYRICS: 'Love Takes Man Back To The Cave'

Where do you want this to end?
Two lost souls alone?
Or turn, turn, turn it around
And be together, maybe forever?

Don’t give me a sarcastic answer
When I’ve pushed the rock up the hill
Don’t paint the roses red
Don’t take the crimson pill.

Where do you want this to go?
One more chance, or no?
Or burn, burn, burn to the ground
Everything we built just dead dirt…ashes?

Don’t give me a sarcastic answer
When I’ve pushed the rock up the hill
Don’t paint the roses red
Don’t take the crimson pill.

I check my watch and it’s all frozen
Sometimes the best choice is the one you’ve chosen.

Don’t give me a sarcastic answer
When I’ve pushed the rock up the hill
Don’t paint the roses red
Don’t take the crimson pill.

You’re out of your mind, I’m out of time.
You’re out of your mind, I’m out of time.
You’re out of your mind, I’m out of time.
Love takes me back to the cave,
TO THE GRAVE.

LYRICS: 'The Machinist'

Too early to break my heart
But you obviously forgot to check the clock
A voice, once so pure
Now crackles like a de-tuned TV set.
The shadow of night
A blanket of comfort
I’m disappearing
Inch by inch.

Don’t follow me
The path’s too long
The thorns too sharp
The pull’s too strong.
So very strong.

Forgotten to close the door
But you obviously know the way to break me
You stroked, now you slice
A human knife cuts me so deeply.
The shadow of death
An obvious ending
I’m disappearing
Inch by inch.

Don’t follow me
The path’s too long
The thorns too sharp
The pull’s too strong.
So very strong.

One final fade,
Sideways, disappearing
Too weak to wave goodbye
Machinist becoming machine.
Machinist becoming machine.

Don’t follow me
The path’s too long
The thorns too sharp
The pull’s too strong.
So very strong.

Machinist becoming machine
Machinist becoming machine
Rusted and spent.

LYRICS: 'It Cannot Be Murder If I'm Already Dead'

I started to climb from the grave in the morning
The guests were all gone and the hounds were all yawning.
I brushed off the dirt and cursed their sweet lord
For sending me back and not cutting the cord.

I remember how it happened
I remember how she cried
She hit be with a rusted hoe
And that was how I died.
Revenge is on my mind
Though I cant take a breath.
I’ll find that dour woman
And I’ll clobber her to death!

I arrive at her door at quarter to ten
She’s a little surprised to see me again.
In bed with another, my beauty betrothed
I pull out a pistol and smile, kill them both.

Think I deserve a drink now
It’s hard work all this killing
I’ll go visit Uncle Jack
If my rotting flesh is willing.
I walk into my favourite bar
The people stop and stare
I take a shot of bourbon
And quickly lose every care.

I feel eyes stare at me and muttering begin
Hear someone declare I’m an unholy sin.
Before I am ready, I feel the attack
Broken hearted corpse with a knife in the back.

So that was my tale
Not another sound
They returned my frame
To a hole in the ground.
I heard their priest chanting
Sounded like a joke
Then ten minutes later
Again I awoke.
Again I awoke…

Lyrics: 'Gatsby Versus Love'

We are the men in black
Talking of Burroughs and Kerouac.
We keep it up through a blank façade
“Have you read the Marquis De Sade?”

Nothing as dull as faux intelligencia
Take your De Quincey and get away with ya.
Yes, you’re clever but we sail above
As we unravel the secrets of love
The secrets of love.

We sit in libraries
Converse in solemn hushed morbid tones.
From Fitzgerald to Dante and Plath
We seek the cleverest 3 book loans.

Nothing as dull as faux intelligencia
Take your De Quincey and get away with ya.
Yes, you’re clever but we sail above
As we unravel the secrets of love
The secrets of love.

No great novels
Just emotion and heart
Sometimes love makes for beautiful art.
Makes for beautiful art.

LYRICS: 'How Far Will You Come Out And Save Me?'

There is no way to kill the past
I hope the hurt wont last
I never meant to hurt you
There is no way just to erase.
I know you killed so
I owe you more than can come.
Sometimes the world spins out
Away from the epicentre
Sometimes the turn is wrong
There's nothing that can tell you.
I just hope you know I care
You're not a substitute
But all that I wish was there.
When I make the jukebox choices
It's 'Lucky' for you.
It's 'Lucky' for you.
I built a wall but there's a door
It's yours to open if you care
I'll sit and dream and sigh and wait
Until the day that you are there.
Please be there.
Please be there.
Please be there.

LYRICS: 'The Future (Optional)'

Come to my house tonight
We'll play songs and kiss
And disappear, alright?
Outside will go away
Hesitate and wave goodbye
So long yesterday.
Click yourself forward with me
The future's ours to write,
You see?
I can't imagine it alone
Waiting for the answerphone
To hear your dulcet tones.
Come back the fire burns
The embers, remember?
The world watches you
Behind your eyes I see the future
Laying there as you stroke my hair
A diet coke and a happy stare.
That's the future.
That's the future.

LYRICS: 'Just Take Me On'

Now's the time to show your face
Erase the past and leave this place
Everything waits now for you
If it's what you want to do.

Am I your future?
Am I your fate?
Is it too early?
Is it too late?

Your shadow paints my wall
Helps me leap and stand up tall
Sometimes I can never be
Without you here next to me.

Am I your future?
Am I your fate?
Is it too early?
Is it too late?

Just take all that you know
Come with me and start the show.

Am I your future?
Am I your fate?
Is it too early?
Is it too late?

I'm here for you, just take me on.
I'm here for you, just take me on.

LYRICS: 'I Take Crumbs, They Steal Bakeries'

The vial is empty
My body a hollow receptacle of truth.
A corpse going over Niagara
Ashes in the mouth, ashes in the mouth.
I can’t breath, I can’t sleep
I can’t see for the eclipse in front of my heart,
It yearns for you, it breaks for you.

The past just a crimson slice from a failed suicde
There’s nowhere left to hide
The chasm of hopelessness grows wide.
But don’t blame me, please don’t blame me,
I take crumbs, they steal bakeries.
I take crumbs, they steal bakeries.

Kiss yesterday with vodka breath
Fucked up without being special
Nothing unique but these scars and my brain
A DJ will always lay quicker than an intellectual
They want sport and superficiality
Not Salinger and Scott.
Not Salinger and Scott.

The past just a crimson slice from a failed suicde
There’s nowhere left to hide
The chasm of hopelessness grows wide.
But don’t blame me, please don’t blame me,
I take crumbs, they steal bakeries.
I take crumbs, they steal bakeries.

Time ticks forwards towards death’s cruel embrace.
Wherever you’re going,
You’re going alone, cowboy
You’re going alone, cowboy.

The past just a crimson slice from a failed suicde
There’s nowhere left to hide
The chasm of hopelessness grows wide.
But don’t blame me, please don’t blame me,
I take crumbs, they steal bakeries.
I take crumbs, they steal bakeries.

One fine day you’ll want me
One fine day you’ll want me
One fine day you’ll want me
…And I’ll be gone.

LYRICS: 'The Darkness, Reality'

She stands alone inside a metal machine
Neon draping over her like crystalline sunshine.
No further course to follow, all signs lead to nothing
All she needs is love’s sweet rescue.
All she needs is love’s sweet rescue.

It is odd that the heart is an organ that repairs itself
She could not think now of such sweet redemption.
A shallow skeletal poisonous package
All she needs is love’s sweet rescue.
All she needs is love’s sweet rescue.

A swallow choking in the gas
A fallen fallow fawn in the forest
A broken choking buzzing tone
Lifeline horizontal
Lifeline horizontal.
The love was a dream
The darkness, reality.
The darkness, reality.
The darkness, reality.
The darkness, reality.

LYRICS: 'Nine One One'

Neon flickered skin
Naked under floodlight sun
Cold flesh against the steel
Warmth covers, warmth covers.
When you’re alone
That can be the greatest company
Not solitude
But elegant sanctuary.
Mirror in the bathroom
Reflecting crimson truth
Reflecting you
Your time will come
Seconds into days
Wait some more
Eyes closed sight.
This story doesn’t have to end
The twist you revel in
Can be a tsunami heartbeat
A tsunami heartbeat.

This time is not your own
Face in the crowd
Blood red sentimental fool
Did someone call an ambulance?
Call an ambulance.

LYRICS: 'Then Dance The Streets Till Dawn'

Frisson of electricity
Passing through us like a ghost
Try to think but there’s only you
Nirvana made flesh, over here.

Crossing other memories
Scarlet world then turns translucent blue.
Heart goes faster as it slows down
Can’t explain it, only you.

Time to venture through the city
Bodies one under the neon
One last lime lager at the club
Then dance the streets till dawn
Then dance the streets till dawn
Then dance the streets till dawn.

LYRICS: 'Brady Song'

So draw yourself a grid
Like a geographical battleships.
Now take a guess
I promise you the truth
If that’s what you require.
You hate me but you need me too,
You can’t destroy me or the mystery can’t be solved.
There?
Nothing there I’m afraid,
Just rocks and undisturbed dirt.
Virgin soil not your virgin child
Virgin soil not your virgin child.

Perhaps you should leave
Consult your psychic
Take out your spade and dig?
Maybe a year…
Maybe five years, you’ll hit a bone
Frantically throw the earth
Until you unveil the truth.
Look into the sunken sockets
Brush away the dirt
Alas, poor Unnamed
We both loved him
Just our way was literal.
Painful and eternal
We’ll add your broken heart to the haul.
I’ll laugh as the prison lights click off
Unaware of the razored toothbrush at my throat.

Is that justice, child?
Is that justice, child?
Is that justice, child?

The ultimate irony,
Final fame is mine.
My face adorns the covers
Your boy is on page 26
Between the racing and the porno lines.
Between the racing and the porno lines.

LYRICS: 'The Ballad Of The Flipper Baby'

Sweet little flipper baby
Ugly as sin yet beautiful.
Breathing in the acrid smoke,
Lungs drip with black tar haze.

Sweet little flipper baby
Star of the whole damn horror show.
Weak hearted, loose limbed
Drowning in the umbilical flood.

We love you flipper baby
We love you flipper baby
We love you flipper baby
Mommy’s little tragedy.

Sweet little flipper baby
A Daniel Johnston hurt exorcism.
Singing fish lips gasp for air
Blackness sweeping in, eyes glazed.

Sweet little flipper baby
Embryonic supermodel.
Razor thin fins flip, heavy agitation,
Metaphorical hook tears skin.

We love you flipper baby
We love you flipper baby
We love you flipper baby
Daddy’s little tragedy.

Three days out the hospital
Flipper baby catches cold
Blue plaque above the garage
Blue fish fins in the cot.
Flipper baby gone.
Gone, baby, gone.

We loved you flipper baby
We loved you flipper baby
We loved you flipper baby
Nature’s little miracle
Nature’s little miracle
Nature’s little death.

LYRICS : 'The Square Root Of Four (Is Rainbows!)

New York forgot us and let us stay
Low society in high society
Outside The Chelsea hustling for smokes
Let the rain come down on us
Let the rain come down on us.

I like to watch her neon eyes
As the rain washes away her pain
The way she smiles
The way she sways.

Soon she forgot me and all was dead
No sobriety in this society
The ‘C’ from The Chelsea flicks like a bug
And the pain came down like swords
And the pain came down like swords.

I miss watching her neon eyes
The rain can’t wash away the pain
I miss her smile
The way she swayed.

I can’t see her anymore
I can’t see nothing
I can’t see her anymore
I can’t see NOTHING.

LYRICS: 'The Ballad Of Katie Vick'

Sitting alone in a bar with The Byrds
A mouth full of blood and the air full of Gram
Bartender looks and shakes his head
He’s seen my type before
The broken hearted troubadour
The broken hearted troubadour.

No one respects you when you’re down and out
Even Fitzgerald was an outcast sans Zelda
Preacher lifts his soda and prays to god
His deity can do nothing
For the broken hearted troubadour
The broken hearted troubadour.

I stagger out into the freezing drunken air
Catching neon in the car shaped strangers passing by
Nobody stops
For the broken hearted troubadour
For the broken hearted troubadour.
Even when he steps out.
Even. When. He. Steps. Out.

LYRICS: 'Your Heart Was A Hive Of Electric Bees'

She felt the beauty drip like blood
Caressing her soul and blinding her eyes.
She sat thinking only of him
Gliding on emotion’s ocean like a solitary sailboat.

He was somewhere else with the pretty set
High fiving the jocks and talking trash with the cheerleaders
Unaware that elsewhere she bled for him
Carving his name like a Faustian pact.

When she was found on the beach
They said she was blue and they thought she was dead
Then some thought inside must have kickstarted her heart
Her eyes flew open and she screamed out his name.

The doctor in the hospital said with glee
“Your heart was like a hive of electric bees”
She turned to the wall and drifted away
Maybe salvation would arrive some other day.
Maybe he would notice
Maybe he would notice
Maybe?

LYRICS: 'Song For Olympia'

If you throw me a bone
I might lick your hand
But that doesn’t mean you’ll understand
The ticking in my head
Or the wish to be dead.

The clock stopped years ago
See the future in sepia
Nothing left for us in modern times
Kill yourself, Olympia.
Kill yourself, Olympia.

Come with me, just follow
I’ll show the way, still.
Life becomes a bitter crooked pill.
There’s screaming in the night,
Is Olympia alright?

The clock stopped years ago
See the future in sepia
Nothing left for us in modern times
Kill yourself, Olympia.
Kill yourself, Olympia

A broken guardian who never cared
Found her blue and alone in her underwear
My name on her arm and in her heart
Destiny tore us apart
Destiny tore her apart.

The clock stopped years ago
See the future in sepia
Nothing left for us in modern times
Kill yourself, Olympia.
Kill yourself, Olympia

I miss you, Olympia
I miss you, Olympia
I miss you, Olympia.
Olympia. Alone.

POEM - 'Echo'

My life is made of silks,
It packs down to nothing.
Dead skin masquerading as youth,
Cold world seen through dead eyes.
Each breath I pray will be the last,
Yet time’s irony thrusts me forward.
I sit a while,
Waiting for the love that never comes.
Hope becomes a tomb,
Heartbreak the catafalque,
Emptiness – the coffin.

Staring again at a sepia stare,
Was she ever here?
Was I ever there?
The image may fade
But the memory stays sharp,
I recount every breath
Every laugh
Every touch.
Where there was warmth,
A think layer of ice forms
With my heart cold beneath it.

POEM - 'Statistic'

Dirt on the white stripes,
Blood on the blue.
The only colour to splash on my translucent skin,
Bar my name, numerical, scarred, permanent.

Climbing a human pyramid
Like a cancerous clown.
The snapping of bone
With each Sisyphus step.

The reward of the climb?
Scraping my nails to the quick on the ceiling.
I’d cry out but I’m muted madness
In the dark no one can see my lack of expression.

I hear a sudden scream from a stronger soul.
The brittle scaffold collapses.
There lifeless on the floor
I feel the gas come.
I feel the gas come.
I feel.

RANT - WWE/TNA

Firstly a round of applause for Dixie Carter, for re-igniting the Monday Night Wars. Of course in reality it is not quite the same, this time she does not have the weight and pocketbook of Ted Turner behind her, but then again Carter isn’t just some two-bit hick with ten dollars and a dream, they don’t let you film in Universal Studios, Florida, if you’re down to the last ten million…
There are so many ways of looking at it, but what most Internet Marks seem to be forgetting is just the thrilling aspect of it, from a fan’s point of you. Now instead of one excellent wrestling company to follow, you have two. Don’t be taken in by the David vs Goliath aspect either, remember that Vince McMahon already hurled a stone in the eye of the giants of the industry when he broke up the territory system and took wrestling nationwide back in the day. That, they said, could not be done.
Still, there cannot have been a wrestling fan alive that wasn’t excited on January 4th when TNA Impact! Squared off against RAW. On Vince’s show, you had the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be, Bret Hart and on Impact!, the biggest wrestler of all time (you can argue all you like for the like of Harley Race or Bruno Sammartino, but they never had breakfast cereals or Saturday morning cartoons…) Hollywood Hulk Hogan. However the war ends up, the fans have already won. If you’re tired of Vince (I have a lot of respect for the McMahons and think they can do no wrong. Aside from Rikishi. And Hornswoggle. And The Kiss My Ass Club. And Eugene.) then you finally have a viable alternative. From another side, you have a group of wrestlers that Vince made stars, now all in one place and fighting for position. Perhaps the most important thing for Impact! wasn’t the arrival of Hogan but the appearance of Jeff Hardy on the same show, a wrestler still very much at the top of his game.
Also Hogan is very much just the Trojan Horse in this situation, it’s Eric Bischoff who has the talent and vision to jump from the shadows and make or break TNA Wrestling. Vince knows this of course, that’s why he swallowed his pride following the war with WCW and brought Bischoff onto the team…
So forget your Internet bitching and let’s sit back and enjoy a great time to be a wrestling fan, even if Hogan-Hall-Nash may be, how shall we put it, a little long in the tooth.